So I’m two and a half weeks out from a provincial competition. It will be my last bikini competition for awhile. Possible forever. Possibly not… I’m certain my husband Wayne who reads my posts regularly just let out a loud “Say what???” …ahem…I may have promised that I was retiring my sparkly green bikini…

However, in the interim of finalizing this decision, I am working hard towards achieving this next goal.

One of the ways I am preparing is by studying my pictures from my competition in March, comparing them to the pictures of my competition in April, in hopes of tweeking something…anything, that will get me that fucking 1st place trophy…I know, I know, here I go again with the 1st place trophy.

So for example, in the picture below…

…the judges may have scored me higher if I’d been holding a puppet. A muppet like Kermit the Frog or Elmo would have probably secured me first place.

In this next picture, however, after careful analysis of our back poses, I felt that the middle girl, which is the one who won, had a lovely pose. It accentuates her waist, really brings out her shoulders. She’s really quite breathtaking.

So being the competitive creature that I am, I was photographed in this positiong as well, in order to assess how I look.

I like it! I look like I have a waist. My back doesn’t look like the Hulk’s.

I’m pleased.

So I send it off to my coach to get his feedback on this pose.

His reply: “I don’t like it. It looks like you have to pee.”

When I showed the picture to Wayne, and asked him what he thought, he agreed with Darren, my coach.
So I’m saddled with two wise-ass critics.

The truth is though: I probably did have to pee. So the jokes on them! Ha!